February 2012
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This weekend
I am going to visit a friend at a Big 10 school and sleeping on her dorm floor (don’t worry, she is not in undergrad- she is a brain in law school). We are driving through Indiana and Michigan and the first thing that pops into my head is that Amber from Teen Mom is from Indiana and Catelynn from Teen Mom is from Michigan. That’s pathetic. Problems. I’ll tell them that you said...
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WatchVideo: “We’re not gonna take it”- Jimmy Fallon vs Parks and Rec
I can’t take not having new episodes of Parks and Recreation on Thursday anymore! I had a hunch that there wasn’t going to be a new one this week when they had the Galentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day episode last week. Problems!!
I really liked last week’s episode and I’m so glad...
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Via the askbox
nmpnmp submission from bee:
The Social Network
http://nmpnmp.tumblr.com/post/14852040678/just-watched-the-social-network-for-the-third-time
Andrew Garfield is Jewish, just like Eduardo Saverin. Why would somebody know that Saverin is Jewish but not Garfield? (unless you’re like Saverin’s dad or something).
ANSWER:
Since you don’t have a tumblr: In the post I asked why Andrew Garfield,...
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Best Headline of today: Suburban nuns fight strip... →
Lol, the club will be called “Get It”. Not my problem. Where the hell is Stone Park? Also nmp.
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I took a sip of the haterade
Things that irk me: Thought Catalog. It’s pretty much random people who write [insert sarcasm here] deep thoughts about shit like being in your twenties. What gives them the credibility to write about such things? I feel like I can read ideas and actual thoughts that are real with more meaning on tumblr. Sometimes I really believe that the internet killed writing. Bloggers are not writers!...
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Big news in Chicago: Empire Carpets buys Luna →
What will their jingle sound like now?? Not my problem.
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Deep Thoughts on a Monday
- I still don’t really understand Pinterest. It’s a little too girly for me. I’m a little weirded out by people who post about weddings when they are not engaged or married.
- I wish people over the age of 21 (or maybe people in general) would stop wearing those North Face Denali fleece jackets. We wore those in high school. It’s time for an adult change. FOR THE LOVE OF...
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“He flew home to Louisiana…IN COACH.”
– The narrator on the special “Hollywed” show on 20/20 while speaking about what happened to Jason Alexander after he got his marriage to Britney Spears annulled. Too bad. Nmp.
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ATTN: Chicagoland
The Mix just played Goyte. I repeat, 101.9 The Mix just played Goyte. It’s all over. They played “Somebody That I Used to Know” in between LMFAO and The Black Eyed Peas.
Not my problem.
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WatchI know we’re all sick of “Shit ______ Say” videos, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m late to the game with this one. Also, I finally got caught up with “The Bachelor”, the best shit show on television.
Bin vs Ben. When I went to school in VA I used to correct my roommate who said “pin” when she was trying to say “pen”.
I wish...
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I'll give you a reality check
Someone told me that her friend was in a relationship, but that friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and now she is thinking about dropping out of school. A note to my friends in real life and people on tumblr- if you ever threaten to drop out of school or quit your job because someone broke up with you, I’m going to kick you in the head.
It gets better- this someone is bringing the...
January 2012
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Wow. The truth comes out. →
A friend sent this to me. How pathetic. Not my problem. I’m sorry for feeding into this insanity.
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Working on a weekend is the worst,
but of course I had to take a break for KKK on E!. Priorities.
The following is not my problem:
I’m convinced that the guys Scott’s working with are in the mob.
Did Kim and Kourtney do ANYTHING for Dash while they were there? I thought that’s why they went to NYC.
Kris’ face while working out.
Mason has his own ipad?? I don’t even have one and I’m 20+ years...
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Since I am slightly disappointed by the Sh*t...
I agree with them about Chicago beers, BYOB, commercials, Sears Tower, the improv show, ketchup, deep dish, and the el, but I feel like they missed the stuff below. Then again, maybe it’s just the people I know who say this shit. Not my problem. Also, this kind of looks like stuff people who grew up around here say vs. people who moved to the Chicago area in their 20s.
1 hr to The Circle?...
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This is why I probably do not go to the gym as...
I workout where Tina Fey used to work her day job (If you really want to know where that is, read Bossy Pants or look it up, creep). It’s not that hip and most of the other people who go there are old(er). It’s weird when I see someone my age there.
Since everyone there is old, I’m really not sure what is normal and what is not. Going to the locker room makes me want to gag (no...
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A great title
Me (at the library): I still have one more book that’s overdue.
Librarian (older male in his 50s/60s, reminds me of Newt Gingrich): I can renew it for you. Is it “You’ll Never…”
Me(waiting for him to read the title, which he never did): …Yes.
The book I attempted to get renewed:
Not my problem. It’s pretty funny, FYI.
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Class
“I made a beer bottle because my dad likes to drink beer.”- Child in class. Nmp.
2 children look at me with blank stares for the entire class. This is probably rude, but sometimes I have to wave my hand in front of their faces to get their attention. Space cadets. Nmp.
When I give some kids directions, I’m not sure if they aren’t listening or if they do not understand...
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I REALLY hate getting work emails that have the word “retarded” in them. What’s your problem?? It’s 2012!
Note: Pauly D is saying “Are you fucking kidding me?” in this gif.
Sometimes I feel like the work emails I write are extremely boring because I have to censor myself. I don’t censor offensive terms, but rather stupid internet shit that many...
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“Kris Humphries was just dumped…
by his publicist”
– My friend. Not my problem.
Everyone will probably forget about him by the end of the year, just like we forgot about Spencer Pratt. In other news, Kris was in Chicago for the basketball game last night. Do people bark at him like they do on the show?
(It looks more like Kris Humphries blacks...
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Important thoughts of the day
1. Emailing and calling people makes me extremely dislike people. Problems. I know you feel the same way. Sometimes I really believe that hell is other people.
2. Have you heard that song “Keep Me In Mind” by Zac Brown Band? If you listen to the lyrics, it’s pretty pathetic. He wants to be someone’s second choice? Who wants to be sloppy seconds or a backup plan?? One guy...
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Names you should not confuse
Rand Paul
Ron Paul
RuPaul
Problems.
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Things you should not confuse
Tin Tin and Rin Tin Tin. I just realized that they are different.
Charlotte Russe and Charlotte Ronson. Shout out to a friend.
Big Sean, Jay Sean, and Sean Kingston.
Social security numbers and phone numbers. I know that phone numbers have one more number than SS#s, but it still happens. Problems.
PIPA and Pippa (Middleton). When I first saw Down with PIPA posts I thought people were being...
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“I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high...”
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my specialness is not appreciated in this place.
MY SPECIALNESS IS NOT APPRECIATED IN THIS PLACE
(zooey on her experience at Northwestern via)
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST
(via fullcredit)
SHE IS SO UNLIKEABLE.
(via kbpresently)
Blech. I must remember that Zooey is not my...
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