Not My Problem

The world according to kids

9-year-old in class:

You go to junior high, then high school, then you go to college, get a job, and then you die.

7-year-old in class (he’s quite the ham):

I want to be a teacher because they always have vending machines.

Not my problem. The first kid is right, but I would add that you probably get married/have a family between “get a job” and “then you die”. The second kid is right, too, I suppose.

Class

“I made a beer bottle because my dad likes to drink beer.”- Child in class. Nmp.

2 children look at me with blank stares for the entire class. This is probably rude, but sometimes I have to wave my hand in front of their faces to get their attention. Space cadets. Nmp.

When I give some kids directions, I’m not sure if they aren’t listening or if they do not understand because they cannot speak English (I heard them speaking another language with their parents). Problems.

Me (to kids fighting): Don’t touch him!

Boy: It’s ok if he touches me.

Me: Uhhhhh.

Nmp.

Me: You have a really good rolling pin.

Child: Thank you.

??? Lol, that kid is my favorite. Nmp.

Last week a kid walked into class like this:

Needless to say, I was extremely jealous. Problems.

In the other session, I used to have to chase a crazy child. One time he freaked out because he found some lace in the supplies and shrieked, “Is this one of those booby thingies!?”. LOL. Then he asked me if I have garters at my house and if I keep my wedding dress in my closet. Nope. NMP.

Children overheard at the local fast food joint

“Would you assassinate him or me?”- a table of boys

“MOM! I NEED MORE MONEY!”- girl from the arcade room screaming to her mom. Me too.

Not my problem. The joy of the ‘burbs.

Does it eat beverages?

Kid in a game of 20 questions. Not my problem and the answer was no.

Kids

Kid in class: You shouldn't write on your hand because it can give you skin cancer [points to my hand].
Me: Oh. Thanks.
That was weird. Not my problem. Then he asked if I've ever seen pure black or pure white. He said snow was not an answer because there is pollution in it.

Not my problem.

Um, excuse me, but why are you here?

Kid in class to me (I’m a TA). My reaction: Uhhhhhhhh.

He’s the kid who said I can’t marry the teacher’s nephew because he’s 22 and I’m 24. He is also a 9-year-old twin and has a brother who is older than me. He’s always bizarre, yet entertaining. NMP.

Today the kids painted the wizards they made. One girl was in a mood and painted her entire wizard white. The other kids said that was weird. The teacher said she was mad that the girl didn’t put any effort into it. I, on the other hand, found it to look like the imperial wizard of the KKK. NMP.

I’ve never made confetti.

A statement by a kid, 100% serious, while playing the game two truths and a lie. I think it was a truth. Not my problem. Sometimes I wonder what kind of weird stuff I said in front of my teachers as a kid.

Art Class

Topics the kids in class discussed amongst themselves today:

Terrorism
God
Suicide

The kids in class were 8-10 years old. Not my problem.