Not My Problem

Showing posts tagged stuff white people like

Good news (or not)- I finally got caught up with “The Bachelor”. Here are my thoughts: Either I was too naive when the series started (I was in high school) or the producers have increased the amount of booze on the show. Case in point: Jenna. Holy beer tears! He should have kept Jenna on longer. She is entertainment gold! I feel like the bachelor or bachelorette is usually objectively attractive, but I don’t find Ben attractive at all. Get a haircut! And a personality! It freaks me out that some of these girls on the show are younger than me Blakely is that aggressive girl who you always hate. And what ever happened to her thing with Monica? I know Courtney’s a model, but she looks really weird to me. The eyes? If this really is reality, they should have contestants who at least live in the same state as the bachelor/ette. How do they expect a long distance relationship to work or how do they expect someone who they barely know to move across the country? Some of these women seem delusional. Are they all actually into Ben and how do they know they love him after one date that was paid for by ABC?? These women all look alike to me. They are all white with blonde or brown hair plus one ging. The end. I hope that a bachelor/ette one day reveals who they picked before the show airs so we can see the repercussions of spilling the beans. Not too fond of the girl who Reality Steve says won The Bachelor and the crazy ladies on the show: not my problem. This is the show we all hate watching, but still watch because alcohol + crazy people = good, guilty pleasure tv.

Good news (or not)- I finally got caught up with “The Bachelor”. Here are my thoughts:

  • Either I was too naive when the series started (I was in high school) or the producers have increased the amount of booze on the show. Case in point: Jenna. Holy beer tears!
  • He should have kept Jenna on longer. She is entertainment gold!
  • I feel like the bachelor or bachelorette is usually objectively attractive, but I don’t find Ben attractive at all. Get a haircut! And a personality!
  • It freaks me out that some of these girls on the show are younger than me
  • Blakely is that aggressive girl who you always hate. And what ever happened to her thing with Monica?
  • I know Courtney’s a model, but she looks really weird to me. The eyes?
  • If this really is reality, they should have contestants who at least live in the same state as the bachelor/ette. How do they expect a long distance relationship to work or how do they expect someone who they barely know to move across the country?
  • Some of these women seem delusional. Are they all actually into Ben and how do they know they love him after one date that was paid for by ABC??
  • These women all look alike to me. They are all white with blonde or brown hair plus one ging. The end.
  • I hope that a bachelor/ette one day reveals who they picked before the show airs so we can see the repercussions of spilling the beans.
  • Not too fond of the girl who Reality Steve says won

The Bachelor and the crazy ladies on the show: not my problem. This is the show we all hate watching, but still watch because alcohol + crazy people = good, guilty pleasure tv.

I feel like such a loser for enjoying Bachelor Pad, but I can’t help myself. “Tears, tears, and more tears”. Chris Harrison: how do you live with yourself? Didn’t Melissa co-host last season? All I remember is that she did absolutely nothing. Is Money really Michelle’s last name? It scares me that there are some moms in the world like her. Some 27-year-old says that she’s really sick of being single. I think you’re only allowed to say that when you’re 40 and single. Gia’s allowed to be on Bachelor Pad again? Wes cheated on her with Vienna? Gia + Wes on last season were nauseating.The Bachelor/ette is so incesteous. I think Vienna’s villain role relates to her immaturity/being a spoiled daddy’s little girl. Her boyfriend was on Ali’s season? Didn’t Ali and Vienna hate each other? And finally, her dress is heinous. It looks like a dog collar with boob curtains. It’s obvious that she is an excellent/evil manipulator. “Take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka” I actually dislike Jake, too. I think what it boils down to is that Jake and Vienna are both fame whores and idiots. He’s like that tall awkward white boy in elementary school who said strange things that no one knew how to react to. Who the hell is this wacky princess? She is dancing in her bathing suit alone in her backyard, lives off of her parents, refuses to get a job, and is painfully awkward? I feel so much better about myself. Graham is objectively good looking. Rated R- get a real job/life, although I loved his exit because it was different than the usual bullshit. Blake called a girl “thick” (rude) and is not that cute, so I hope he gets voted off first. Kasey’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard and I liked Rated R’s comment about Kasey being Kermit the Frog and Vienna being Miss Piggy. I hope Kasey finds joy in “beating the mental crap” out of Jake, whatever that means. Who is Ames? I want to give his forehead bangs. He reminds me of that brother from Married with Children. The challenge was worse than child birth?? “We made a promise that we’re not going to fight on camera.” You guys are the worst. Jake made a child cry. Awesome. Bachelor/ette people: don’t discuss world history. Don’t make yourself look worse on television. Dear Gia, Men who you think you can trust cannot be trusted. You of all people should know that by now. From, Reality Check. Let’s have sex after Jake apologizes? Watching Vienna have sex makes me physically ill. And Kasey thinks he protected Vienna? By doing what? Speaking like Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch)?? There are too many blond men and they all look alike. That last scene was…odd. In General: I dislike all of them. It seems like the people on The Bachelor/ette are either young twentysomethings or single parents. I suppose real and normal people have jobs and cannot take months off of work. What do the single parents do with their kids while they are on Bachelor Pad? The Bachelor/ette loves making and profiting off of awkward situations. America loves awkward situations. Sick. This is like Real World Challenge, but whiter. What a great psychological experiment. What a riot. All of you Bachelor/ette people are not my problem.

I feel like such a loser for enjoying Bachelor Pad, but I can’t help myself.

“Tears, tears, and more tears”. Chris Harrison: how do you live with yourself? Didn’t Melissa co-host last season? All I remember is that she did absolutely nothing.

Is Money really Michelle’s last name? It scares me that there are some moms in the world like her.

Some 27-year-old says that she’s really sick of being single. I think you’re only allowed to say that when you’re 40 and single.

Gia’s allowed to be on Bachelor Pad again? Wes cheated on her with Vienna? Gia + Wes on last season were nauseating.The Bachelor/ette is so incesteous.

I think Vienna’s villain role relates to her immaturity/being a spoiled daddy’s little girl. Her boyfriend was on Ali’s season? Didn’t Ali and Vienna hate each other? And finally, her dress is heinous. It looks like a dog collar with boob curtains. It’s obvious that she is an excellent/evil manipulator.

“Take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka”

I actually dislike Jake, too. I think what it boils down to is that Jake and Vienna are both fame whores and idiots. He’s like that tall awkward white boy in elementary school who said strange things that no one knew how to react to.

Who the hell is this wacky princess? She is dancing in her bathing suit alone in her backyard, lives off of her parents, refuses to get a job, and is painfully awkward? I feel so much better about myself.

Graham is objectively good looking. Rated R- get a real job/life, although I loved his exit because it was different than the usual bullshit. Blake called a girl “thick” (rude) and is not that cute, so I hope he gets voted off first. Kasey’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard and I liked Rated R’s comment about Kasey being Kermit the Frog and Vienna being Miss Piggy. I hope Kasey finds joy in “beating the mental crap” out of Jake, whatever that means. Who is Ames? I want to give his forehead bangs. He reminds me of that brother from Married with Children.

The challenge was worse than child birth??

“We made a promise that we’re not going to fight on camera.” You guys are the worst.

Jake made a child cry. Awesome.

Bachelor/ette people: don’t discuss world history. Don’t make yourself look worse on television.

Dear Gia, Men who you think you can trust cannot be trusted. You of all people should know that by now. From, Reality Check.

Let’s have sex after Jake apologizes? Watching Vienna have sex makes me physically ill. And Kasey thinks he protected Vienna? By doing what? Speaking like Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch)??

There are too many blond men and they all look alike.

That last scene was…odd.

In General:

I dislike all of them. It seems like the people on The Bachelor/ette are either young twentysomethings or single parents. I suppose real and normal people have jobs and cannot take months off of work. What do the single parents do with their kids while they are on Bachelor Pad?

The Bachelor/ette loves making and profiting off of awkward situations. America loves awkward situations. Sick.

This is like Real World Challenge, but whiter. What a great psychological experiment. What a riot.

All of you Bachelor/ette people are not my problem.

Since I’m lazy/the game is still on, I still haven’t left for pitchfork. Since everyone was making such a fuss over OFWGKTA, I thought I’d watch the livestream. Tyler the Creator is sitting on a stool because apparently he’s on crutches. Also, I don’t understand the appeal of violent/racist/I don’t know/etc raps to the predominantly white audience. Nmp. I don’t get it. EDIT: File under #stuffwhitepeoplelike. I’m not sure why.

Since I’m lazy/the game is still on, I still haven’t left for pitchfork. Since everyone was making such a fuss over OFWGKTA, I thought I’d watch the livestream. Tyler the Creator is sitting on a stool because apparently he’s on crutches. Also, I don’t understand the appeal of violent/racist/I don’t know/etc raps to the predominantly white audience.

Nmp. I don’t get it.

EDIT: File under #stuffwhitepeoplelike. I’m not sure why.

Tonight I went to Iron and Wine with pretty much every young person in Chicago. I’m not sure why I went, as I hate humidity/heat, I only know a few of the band’s songs, and I’m over taking the train to the city. There were so many white people! I saw hipsters hula hooping while playing harmonicas. They took it to a new level. NMP. While walking back to the train station, I was behind a girl who walked barefoot from Millennium Park to Ogilvie. That’s almost 10 blocks of walking in dog poo residue, spit, and other gross stuff. Not my problem!

Tonight I went to Iron and Wine with pretty much every young person in Chicago. I’m not sure why I went, as I hate humidity/heat, I only know a few of the band’s songs, and I’m over taking the train to the city. There were so many white people! I saw hipsters hula hooping while playing harmonicas. They took it to a new level. NMP.

While walking back to the train station, I was behind a girl who walked barefoot from Millennium Park to Ogilvie. That’s almost 10 blocks of walking in dog poo residue, spit, and other gross stuff. Not my problem!

sade: what if HAHA As I mentioned before, I’m not really into this royal wedding hubub, but since I’m being lame and staying in tonight, I’m watching my mom watch the royal wedding rerun on TLC (cool life). The only thoughts I’ve had are: I’ve never heard Prince William or Kate speak. If I were in an open air car or standing out in the open I’d worry about being shot. Visiting the JFK shooting museum in Dallas made me paranoid. Plus, I’m American, so I assume guns are everywhere. Camilla Parker Bowles is the worst. Since when did she marry Prince Charles? Queen Elizabeth is such a Debbie Downer. Who leaves a wedding early? Do you think Kate was gunning for Prince William the whole time they were at school? How many times can the people covering the wedding say “literally” (but sounds like litchrilly)? I personally find “literally” to be the most overused and unnecessary word. These American “newscasters” covering the wedding are such a joke. Who discusses the body language of people at a wedding? Hard hitting news. I hope Prince Harry and Pippa hooked up at the party. Televising a wedding just seems so out of control to me. Not my problem!!

sade:

what if

HAHA

As I mentioned before, I’m not really into this royal wedding hubub, but since I’m being lame and staying in tonight, I’m watching my mom watch the royal wedding rerun on TLC (cool life). The only thoughts I’ve had are:

  • I’ve never heard Prince William or Kate speak.
  • If I were in an open air car or standing out in the open I’d worry about being shot. Visiting the JFK shooting museum in Dallas made me paranoid. Plus, I’m American, so I assume guns are everywhere.
  • Camilla Parker Bowles is the worst. Since when did she marry Prince Charles?
  • Queen Elizabeth is such a Debbie Downer. Who leaves a wedding early?
  • Do you think Kate was gunning for Prince William the whole time they were at school?
  • How many times can the people covering the wedding say “literally” (but sounds like litchrilly)? I personally find “literally” to be the most overused and unnecessary word.
  • These American “newscasters” covering the wedding are such a joke. Who discusses the body language of people at a wedding? Hard hitting news.
  • I hope Prince Harry and Pippa hooked up at the party.

Televising a wedding just seems so out of control to me. Not my problem!!

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